Self-Full The Diary Of A Recovering People Pleaser

Today I unplugged. I spent the day resting, running, reading and reflecting on what I want in life. I started to more deeply consider where my priorities lie at this point in my life. More to come on all of that, but today this is all. Ashley

It's been a heavy week. Between the mid-term elections on Tuesday and another mass shooting which happened to be here in Los Angeles early this morning, America feels more divided than ever. With all the hostility, anger and resentment there seems to be a weight in the air that just won't let up. This week for me being self-full has meant speaking my mind and holding tight to my convictions, but not getting swept into debate after debate on social media. I have had to intentionally decide what I want to say and when I need to walk away. I understand it is my responsibility to be engaged and informed about what is going on in our country and to voice my opinions, however, I also know I am solely responsible for my mental and emotional wellbeing. So, today's post is an encouragement. Stay connected and fight the good fight, but also be sure to take care of yourself. For me, self-care this week has looked like this: 1. Reading - I am an avid reader so this is so...

Doubt. This morning I finished work and decided I would get straight to my blog post for the day. I began typing and got absolutely nowhere with the draft I had initially planned on having posted well before breakfast. I sat staring at my computer thinking to myself "Wtf am I doing? There really is no point to doing this. It’s just going to be a waste of my time and energy. And furthermore, who cares what I have to say? Noone… that’s who!" So, with that, I got up from my computer and carried on with my day. All day I went back and forth with myself about whether or not I should even bother with this concept and to be honest, up until an hour ago I was pretty sure I was just going to throw in the towel and forget I even mentioned this whole thing. Thankfully I realized on my way home from work that my struggle isn’t with writing, the underlying issue is with doubt.  My self-doubt is one of the reasons that I don't fully live. Self-doubt is why don't always ta...

Today is the first day of my Self-Full blog. What exactly does it mean to be Self-Full? Earlier this week I was driving home from yoga and was reflecting on my practice. At the end of class during Savasana (or cool down), the teacher walked around and offered lavender oil to each woman in the class. The room was quiet and dark, and my breath deep, but quiet. When it came to be my turn to accept the essential oils gently the instructor swiped them gently across my forehead, and I inhaled the calming scent. However, she then gently, but with great intention, she put one hand on each of my shoulders and pressed them into my mat. I hadn’t even realized that I was tensed up, unwilling to allow myself the time or space to completely sink into myself. She then walked away and in that small moment, I realized how little I do for myself. For my entire life, I have been a people pleaser, the do-gooder, the nice girl. I have spent 31 years putting the wants and...